Tasha Thoughts #1

  Something I really have struggled with is the fine line of honoring your mother and father and setting boundaries.  After speaking with a friend, she helped me lift the final piece I had been holding onto- and I want to share that piece with you.  

To honor someone is to hold them to a high regard and have deep respect for them.  It's extremely hard to honor someone who has hurt you you mentally, emotionally, and/or physically- it can break the spirit.  For those of us strong enough to survive, come to a place of healing and thrive, I struggle with letting go because my hurt has been my fuel and bricks for my boundaries.  

What happens if I let go?  Do I have to change my boundaries?  Am I expected to have a healthy relationship once I let go?  Does this mean I approve of the hurtful things they did?  Is that honor?!  How do I honor someone that hurt me?  What if they are still living the same lifestyle, how do I honor ongoing behavior that is unethical and/or hurtful?  Because they are my mother and father?  God, You're gonna have to show me how this works because I'm struggling... I want to obey you Lord, help me understand.

That's where my friend came in.  During a playdate, we were having a deep convo and she said one simple thing that  released that last bit of hurt that kept me "aware and safe".  She pointed out how the life I lived proved that God used all I had went through for good and His glory- nothing was wasted.  As I sat and flashed over my life- my 15 year strong marriage, our children that my husband was a part of each delivery, my drive to be a shepherd for God's children...  nothing I suffered went to waste.  As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be the person I am, if it wasn't for the imperfections of my parents.  

I felt like the Grinch when his heart multiplied in size.  I suddenly felt gratitude for my imperfect parents and God's care and protection when I didn't even know who He was.  

Now I can see my parents as other children that God is working on, just like me.  I can forgive and be grateful.  I can PRACTICE setting boundaries with kindness and goodness.  I can pray for them and not judge them as parents.  Let's be real- parenting is no joke and paired with marriage.... good googly moogly... a lot of work and energy has to go into a successful family.  The odds are pretty much against you- especially if God isn't at the center. 

Thank you Stacie.  I can actually say
I'm proud of my parents for doing the best they new how.  Now I can only pray that God uses me as a vessel for His love, grace, forgiveness, and relationship.  The idea of opening myself up to knowing there is a history of hurt is freaking scary.  I don't know how God does it with us day after day- but I'm ready to learn to love like Him.   With God's guidance, I'm ready to honor my Father in heaven and my parents here on earth.